Overwhelming

Just now the Revised Common Lectionary is covering the Book of Job in the Old Testament. This book is one of the most wonderful books of the Old Testament. It deals with the universal problem of suffering. Even today people say "What have I done to deserve this?" In the time of the story it was believed that to suffer was to be paid out for wrong doing. This is what Job's so-called comforters were trying to impress on him. Probably because he thought he really was being punished, Job could not understand his predicament. He had been immensely rich with a wife, children and vast flocks and herds of animals. He suddenly found himself divested of all these and had a dreadful smelly condition to worsen things. No one wanted to remain in his company for long!

For us, today, there remains the problem of how to deal with acute suffering. This will always be with us. Many people suffer pain throughout their lives and they know there is no pill that can make a difference. Quite often sufferers have found relief in a particular drug only to find that it is withdrawn as dangerous or having serious side effects. How will they carry on?

Sometimes it is just a great list of problems that beset a person and he or she must bear this load somehow. Perhaps they have been ill treated by someone, maybe abused sexually or otherwise. The fact is that that carry a burden that will not go away. Sleeping becomes a problem and perhaps nightmares add to the load. How can they cope with a burden this heavy?

Some people turn to prayer in order to pursue the road to release. But what if, once the prayer has been offered, there is a silence? What is their next move?

Throughout the world there are thousands and thousands of people who are suffering to this sort of degree. What do we say to them? What is the answer when they ask the question? Many of them have suffered an abuse, the memory of which remains throughout life. So there is no prospect of a release from this, is there? Be assured, there are many who find it difficult to cope with their own personal load. But they need help. Who can help them?

Some years ago I spoke to a woman who told me about the response from a Christian I knew. The woman had suddenly lost her husband and the Christian said to her, "Don't worry. God will give you strength. Just have faith and you will get through." The one thing lacking here was empathy. A few years later the second person lost her own husband. When she met the first woman, she could only apologise for the way she had spoken before.

We have to be honest and say that from time to time life can be completely overwhelming. So what is our response? In the news we come across many tales of people being so overwhelmed by their problems that they commit suicide. Sometimes, a member of our family takes this way out and we have to come to terms with what has happened. I have to say that there are no easy answers to situations like these.

Many years ago there was a great Christian called Dr Thomas Grenfell who worked as a doctor with the Labrador fishing fleets. He told the story of a young woman who had joined the crew of a fishing vessel as ship's cook. She was pregnant and Grenfell was called in to help her when a complication occurred. He took her off the ship and took care of her in a Moravian Mission Station. Her successfully corrected what was wrong in physical terms. But she just turned to him and said, "I can never go home, Doctor. I just want to die." When she died he had her buried on a headland and had placed on her grave a headstone which read, "Suzanne. And Jesus said,'neither do I condemn thee.'"

There are times when we do not know where to turn to get rid of a burden. We are simply overwhelmed by it. So, what can we do to deal with our load of worry and care? Well, I suggest we turn to Jesus to share it with him. It will not make our burden disappear but we shall know we are talking to one who empathises. The man on the cross endured great pain and agony for us. He knows what suffering is and he will not turn away if we go to him.

Speaking about the human condition, the ancient philosopher, Senecca once said, "What we need is a hand let down to the place of suffering." It has been my personal experience that this is not the way it works. I have taken ninety funeral services over the years and I have never shirked the problem of coping in grief. I have said to congregations of mourners that they will not be left alone to grieve. God will come to them and help them through. But how do this operate in practice? It works because God sends people to us (with or without their knowledge) and it is they who help us through. God always comes through fellow human beings. So what we experience is not a "hand let down" but a hand extended.

The problem of pain and suffering is always experienced as if we are alone. So when someone comes to us and offers their hand we have that realisation that no longer need we feel alone. As a teenager I listened to Pastor Martin Niemuller speaking to an audience. He spoke of his imprisonment by the Nazis and counted the doors that closed between him and "the book" as he was led to his cell for the first time. Without his Bible he felt alone. To feel alone and maybe forgotten is a dreadful feeling. So when a friend appears it is a great moment indeed.

We Christians declare that we are never alone but there are times when it really seems to be the case. It is frightening and marginalising. We become like poor children gazing through a sweet shop window at food we know will never be ours. It is a very effective ploy to make someone think they are alone and forgotten. Yet we have to get through somehow. No easy or trite answers can ever be expected. There will be those who will venture to suggest some platitude or other but ignore them. When the burden weighs down on you, simply remember that Jesus had a burden to carry too - a cross on which he was going to die. Whenever troubles pile up we can turn to one who has suffered before us and knows the feeling. No longer alone, we start to go forward with our burden. the burden remains, but the journey continues.

Liverpool Visit

Yesterday I travelled by coach with a number of English and Welsh Christians from the Amlwch area of Anglesey to visit Liverpool. We have formed a group called Churches in Amlwch to explore what the different denominations in the small town can do together. Each year we meet during Lent and Advent to discuss our faith and how we relate as Christians to the world in which we live. We organise a Harvest Supper where we share a little entertainment after our meal. It is held at Bull Bay Golf Club which has become a popular venue for our meals together. In January we end the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity with another supper at the Golf Club.
But in July we have a day out. Last year we visited Bodnant Gardens in the Conwy Valley. This year, as with the Bodnant visit, our coach was full. We set off at 8.30am on a day of doubtful weather. How should we dress if rain was threatened? I spent the whole day in the company of Father Michael Ryan from the Roman catholic church in Amlwch. He was great company! Mike comes from Birkenhead so he gave me a commentary on just about every landmark we passed, going into Liverpool. He remarked on the level of change since he was last in the city. It didn't seem long since I last was there but the landscape had changed dramatically.
Our first stop was at the Roman Catholic cathedral and it was a magnificent building indeed. I felt very comfortable inside it and very much connected with it. For me it is a "people's cathedral" and more relevant to present times than any of the Gothic cathedrals I have visited. I say this as someone who is very interested in cathedral architecture. I feel the older cathedrals are wonderful in terms of design and status but I have to admit that this place truly impressed me.
The building is crowned with a massive lantern of multi-coloured glass and the effect of this is to admit the most amazing colours. As our guide was speaking the sun came out for a minute or so and we thought a spotlight had been switched on. The altar in the centre has above it an array of light and sound equipment which, to the outward eye, is simply a great crown of thorns. All the equipment is concealed within the design.
Around the great church are many side chapels and only one has a door. It was in this chapel that we held a short service and what an experience this was. Every chapel contains modern, and sometimes extraordinary, artwork. There is a wonderful modern depiction of Abraham about to kill the lamb caught in the thorn bush in place of Isaac, his son. But one chapel contains the slate tomb of the late Archbishop Derek Worlock, the previous Archbishop of Liverpool. He and the late Rt. Rev David Sheppard, Anglican Bishop of Liverpool, did much to defuse the Toxteth riots some years ago. These two men cared deeply for the people of Liverpool and risked their lives as they toured Liverpool 8 at the height of the rioting. Archbishop Derek expressed a wish to be buried in the cathedral and his wish was granted. Although he must be the only Archbishop to be buried over a car park. His remains are within the tomb and not below ground because the cathedral car park is just below his last resting place!
Mike and I had a light lunch in the cathedral cafe which is a wonderful eatery in its own right. then we went into the gift shop. It was there that we each bought a "holding cross" made from olive wood in the Holy Land. A holding cross is a small cross with offset cross pieces so that it can be held comfortable. You can use it to help with prayer or simply hold it in silence. Either way you end up holding on to the cross of Jesus which all Christians should do.
It was soon time to rejoin our coach and drive round to the Albert Dock. There the two of us wandered around the shops that lined the Albert Dock in which a number of small craft bobbed alongside the dock. We decided to visit the Maritime Museum. The top floor was dedicated to Liverpool's involvement in the slave trade. We learned a lot about how slaves were taken and transported to work for plantation owners in the New World. Lord Penrhyn, the founder of Penrhyn Castle outside Bangor was heavily involved in this vicious trade in humanity. His profits went towards the development of the slate quarries of North West Wales. In the end he could afford to build a castle to brag with to his friends.
The rooms below contained exhibits showing the war at sea involving the Merchant Navy. Many ships set out from Liverpool and never returned. There were depictions of sea battles and views through a periscope. Another area was all about the great Transatlantic liners that sailed from Liverpool to America.
After the Maritime Museum we entered the Tate Museum. here we saw the most unusual objects arranged to become sculptures. I came away from this establishment wondering what was art and what was a confidence trick!
We met to board the coach at 4.30pm and set off home by way of a hotel where we had a pleasant meal together. I arrived home very tired but convinced the journey had been worthwhile. I looked back and saw us as a little group of pilgrims on a journey together. We had seen some extraordinary things, many created to glorify God. It was worth it!

Chosen people

How special does it feel to be some one's friend? I think we can assume it is a good feeling. To be without friends is to be left all alone with little to do. Today's lectionary reading in John's Gospel is another of what are sometimes called farewell discourse. It was a point in his ministry where Jesus was preparing for the continuing of the mission by his disciples after he had gone. He was, we could say, getting them ready for service.

"No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is about. I have called you friends, because I have disclosed to you everything that I heard from my Father." So now the disciples become friends and as such are taken into Jesus' confidence to prepare them for service. No longer servants, they are now in the picture. From now on they take on greater responsibility as friends of Jesus.

Speaking to us in 2009 the passage is preparing us for intensive service in spreading the good news. Of course, in 2009 it is not the most popular talking point. Christianity is not losing but has lost its popularity. So we are being prepared to fight a battle where the odds are heavily against us. But battles have been tilted against eventual winners before. The prophets of old found their work was just as hard and just as unpopular. But in the Old Testament we are reminded through the story of David and Goliath that even when the odds are very uneven we can still achieve our aims.

It is not be be forgotten that we are not just friends of Jesus but chosen friends of him. Jesus chooses us by calling us to service. So now we consider the new status of chosen friends. That makes us vital to the cause. Of that there can be no doubt. Two weeks ago I considered the idea of the "Good Shepherd". There is a popular shepherd image where the man carries a tiny lamb home to be cared for individually by his fire. Often, this image is treated as an "adorable fluffy little creature" picture. Yet, when you examine it closely the tiny lamb is important to the shepherd because he eventually wants to sell it at market. After all, he has to live! But don't consider this view as cynical for there can be no doubt that we too are in that same position where God is concerned. In a very real way God has invested in us.

If God has not invested in us then how will he get his job of salvation done? We are his only hands and his only feet. So, once again we are elevated - this time to the status of being indispensable. But don't let it go to your head because there is a lot of hard work involved! As chosen people much is expected of us. We may even be required to lay down our lives in this sort of service. Martyrs are not confined to the past. As I write this there are Christians serving in some very dangerous places where their lives are on the line.

One organisation that works all over the world helping to bring people all that they need is Mission Aviation Fellowship. I am proud to be their area representative for North Wales. We have over 180 light aircraft active throughout the world. Every three minutes an MAF aircraft takes of or lands somewhere in the world. There are many support staff behind our pilots. Whole families find themselves living in unusual circumstances as this incredible airline ferries doctors, nurses, water engineers, farming advisers, pastors and evangelists to the "coal face".

Over the past five years we have lost three pilots in Papua New Guinea as the work has been pushed forward in the name of Jesus.

So it still remains true that sometimes lives are laid down in the service of God. This work continues day by day and we never say "no, we cannot go". We use the term "Flying for Life" as our strap line. It really does describe the work we do. Many, many people receive vital medical intervention that enhances their life. In one case a large group who wanted desperately to get treatment for eye cataracts faced two days of travel behind two tractors over dreadful terrain to go 40 miles to the place where operations were taking place. One man seeing his nurse, after the operation to restore his sight, expressed a desire to marry her! Such is the effect of modern medical care out in the field.

You can see from this that many Christians see themselves as vital parts of a great mission commissioned by God. They are people who have c been chosen, chosen to be friends of Jesus. They do what he would be doing if he were involved in his ministry in this age. They have answered his call and are proud to be numbered among his friends. In our own individual ways we have to emulate this mission activity by responding to the call of Jesus.

How special is it to be a friend of Jesus? Extra special!!!

"I am the true vine"

I love talking about vines because they produce wine! As a wine lover I know how much tender care is lavished on grape vines to achieve a good product. Vines are grown commercially on a grand scale all over the world. No longer are the best wines to be found only in France for growers in many other countries have learned how to grow grapes to make wine. In the UK we are fortunate in having access to just about every type of wine available. Our climate is a difficult one in which one can grow vines capable of producing a good wine.

However, this is not to say that there are no decent wines made from UK grapes. I know of two vineyards I have visited in the UK where you can find good wine. One is by the River Dart and the other is here in Anglesey 15 minutes from where I live. From each of these establishments I have purchased good wine, worthy of mention. In each case the owners have lavished great attention on their vines in order to achieve excellence.

I was talking yesterday to the owner of our local vineyard and I asked him about his vines and how far back they were pruned. The answer was that they were pruned back to the third bud. Jesus spoke about this when he referred to pruning in order to encourage new growth. Each year this process has to be completed correctly to ensure that the new growth is strong and plentiful. The wine being nurtured starts its life in the vine itself. We are called on to graft ourselves onto Jesus, the "true vine". Just like every garden in this world it is a matter of constantly working to see that the best standards are maintained.

This year I have found that extra bit of effort and stuck to the job of weeding my gardens, front and rear. Only today have I completed that task but it is important that I keep on top of the garden or it will defeat me eventually. Along with this I have built extra staging for my greenhouse to maximise the number of plants grown. I hope that eventually I will see the glory of all those plants coming to flower in the garden. The whole process has been undertaken with the harvest in mind. What a kick I get out of seeing tiny sprouts emerging in the seed trays. This reminds me that it is like working in God's vineyard. here too is joy and happiness to see the results of attentive work among the plants.

To see a seed coming through as a plant is to be reminded of the Resurrection of Jesus. It is all about "new life." The seed appears to be something dry and without life but, given the correct treatment by the gardener, it responds by coming to life as a lovely plant. Some of the seeds I have planted are microscopic and yet they bring forth such abundant flowers as they reach their zenith.

The work we do in the vineyard is crucial to the success of God's work in today's world. In a sense there are two separate ways of thinking about what we do. Firstly, we are called to graft ourselves on to Jesus, the true vine. This is absolutely essential. It is in this passage that Jesus refers to us as his friends. No longer are we the slaves of God as were the Old Testament prophets and leaders. Now we have become elevated to the status of being friends of Jesus. The late Professor William Barclay, in his Daily Study Bible, speaks about the Roman emperors who also had people referred to as friends. They even had access to Caesar's bedroom at the beginning of a day. They were closer to Caesar than any of his generals and other politicians. In like manner we are closer to Jesus than anyone else. we are so close we are grafted on to him.

There is also the reference to our work in the vineyard. It is vital that we carefully examine the nature and purpose of that work. By doing so we shall discover the way forward is all about TLC - Tender Loving Care. Thus we are not only friends of Jesus but friends of each other. We become trustworthy comrades in arms as we work together to get the message of Jesus across to the world in which we live and work. Loving one another is an important part of going forward in the name of Jesus. we are vital to the cause and we need to see that Jesus has no hands but ours and no feet but ours. Trusting in him and his judgement, we shall achieve great things. This will not be for us but for God, our creator and friend.

It's great to be a Christian because we are involved with the greatest figure in all history. We really are members of the A team! But what we now need most is courage. It is courage that will lead to our picking up our tools to work for Jesus. We need to make that start and make progress as we meet people from all manner of places in our daily life. It's hard work but it's rewarding work to be God's gardener!

"I am the Good Shepherd"

Today's lectionary readings draw together two of the most famous images in the Bible. From the Old Testament there is the 23rd Psalm which speaks in pastoral imagery of God leading the traveller through the countryside and even through the "valley of the shadow of death". The Gospel reading is from John's gospel and is the passage where Jesus speaks of himself as the "Good Shepherd". This is one of the "I am" statements by Jesus, all of which are found in John's gospel. Linking the two passages we can see how God is the good shepherd of the Psalm and Jesus assumes the role in John's gospel.

It is, perhaps, difficult in an industrial age to really find oneself in these stories. They speak clearly of the pastoral scene. Yet we would do well to try to see these two similar images in the sort of life we lead today. It is quite easy for me, living in a rural area where the agricultural scene is of mainly sheep farming. But, having lived in the vast conurbation of Greater Manchester, I can see the value of taking time to quietly assess life through the pastoral scene. It is precisely because we are trapped in today's increasingly stressful living that we need, perhaps at the end of a day, to take stock of our life and consider the role of the shepherd.

At the end of his working day, the shepherd of biblical days would lie down across the entrance to the sheepfold. In this way he would be protecting the sheep in the fold by ensuring that any dangerous animal would have to deal with him before attacking the sheep. As he lay there he would stare up at the night sky and see thousands of tiny sources of light across the heavens. He must have wondered what they really were as well as considering their beauty. Lying there he would go back over his day and see a job well done and be content.

But if the shepherd were simply a hired man with no affiliation to this particular flock it would be a different matter. The sheep did not matter as much to him because they belonged to another. There is a difference in commitment expressed in the words of Jesus. He was drawing a comparison between the leaders of Judaism and the Son of God. Jesus was the one who was totally committed to his followers, committed to the point of giving up his life for them. This is a man we can trust.

If you were to compare trustworthy people the one who is prepared to die for you has to be at the very top of the list. No one can be more trustworthy and no one can be more worthy of praise. As Christians we need to see ourselves as in partnership with the Good Shepherd. In his company we can really go places and achieve amazing goals for his sake. Using the imagery of the shepherd working in the pastoral scene, we need also to see that in today's frenetic life we should stop trying to do everything ourselves. Once we do this we come to a place where God can enter and support what we do. Take a step back and allow God to play a part in your life. You will get few prizes for burning yourself out and failing to help others.

Some years ago a former Archbishop of Canterbury was on a visit to the United States. In a press conference a reporter asked him, "Say, your Grace, are you packing them in back there in England?" "One at a time, my man, one at a time" was the Archbishop's reply. We really do need to find time in our busy lives to just pause and let the fresh air in. It is just like opening a window in a stuffy room, and it makes a big difference.

You never see a shepherd dashing to lead his sheep to pasture. I have seen shepherds in Greece where they tend their flocks in the biblical manner. Steadily they stride out to the pastures and the sheep, trustingly, follow them. The next thing one sees is a shepherd leaning on his staff and quietly watching his sheep. Should they wander towards danger a shrill whistle accompanies an accurately thrown stone to get them to move out of the danger zone. From this you can see how David, when a shepherd, was deadly accurate with the sling that killed Goliath. It is commonly thought that his sling was only to fight off dangerous killers but he would also know how to direct the sheep away from danger.

To be a leader using the pastoral image of a shepherd is to be a person of great inspiration. Jesus was nothing if he did not inspire others. It was his mission and he pulled it off. It also teaches us that when we see our heart's desire within our Christian mission it will not be achieved instantly. The mission is a slow deliberate affair. We shall reach those who need Jesus slowly and steadily. That calm approach is, in itself, amazingly inspirational.

Resurrection Witnesses

Resurrection is a difficult concept for some people to accept. The events are too ridiculous to believe outright and, perhaps for some, mythological and hard to believe. This is quite understandable because some people simply cannot believe in what would be described as a miracle. For them there always has to be an explanation and if one cannot be found then belief is impossible. But for some people it is the Resurrection that makes all the difference and draws them to Jesus. It is his rising from death that seals their belief in him. It is this that starts a life-long commitment to service in his name.
Last week I found that a member of the congregation where I was preaching simply could not accept the idea of Jesus being "the walking dead". I can sympathise with this because I know that it is a "worked out" view on the part of the person to whom I spoke. I know that he has a great faith that he found by sharing regular worship in a loving fellowship. The manner in which he accepts Jesus as Lord is not for me or you to criticise.
Many of us have found a number of obstacles along the path to faith. During my teens and twenties I was challenged by people who declared some of the gospel stories simply untrue and unlikely. This gave me much discomfort because I could see their point. It challenged me for many years. Then I heard a minister speak on the subject "Doubts and Certainties". As I listened he admitted he had strong doubts about the credibility of a number of the Bible stories. Suddenly my discomfort disappeared. Here was someone else who was a Christian and harboured very similar doubts to mine.
But these doubts are dealt with by a Christian through the vehicle of faith. In the Book of Hebrews, Chapter 11 we hear "Faith gives substance to our hopes and convinces us of realities we do not see." Put it this way: If we had no doubts we should need no faith. You see, faith is what makes all the difference. It is the difference between a religious life led by way of adopting and following custom and one where a spiritual dimension is the driving force. All of us can see the part played by the spiritual dimension, even those considered to be heretics because they put forward theories which discount resurrection and miracles. This spiritual approach is common to all Christians.
So how can we all be described as "Resurrection Witnesses"? Through the aforementioned spiritual dimension we are bound together as Christians. We may not share that vision of a resurrected Jesus walking through closed doors, revealing himself in broken bread, challenging Thomas to touch the marks of crucifixion. But we share the common knowledge of the power of Jesus still at work in the world through us. This is expressed in the Holy Trinity - God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. In short we have the certainty, through faith, that He is alive and in us and working through us. We may not be able to explain it but it is still real to us.

Doubting Thomas

Today is known as Low Sunday in the Christian calendar. In one sense it could be that after the high of Easter Day it is appropriate that the following Sunday should be Low Sunday. I have heard it suggested that it is so named because preachers cannot match the Resurrection celebration message of Easter Day. Personally I see it as a second Resurrection Day. It is simply impossible to include every story related to the resurrection in a single day's service.

According to the many stories contained in the Gospels it is an incredibly busy day. The women discover the empty tomb and Mary speaks to Jesus in the garden. The disciples hear from the women that Jesus has risen. Jesus visits the disciples and Thomas is missing. Travellers towards Emmaus meet Jesus "twice" and realise who has broken bread with them. That is a great deal to take place in one day and it is breath-taking in pace.

Above all, it is a day of amazing spiritual experiences that changed the world. Looking first at the scene in the garden we have the spiritual experience of Mary who simply recognises Jesus by the way he says her name. The women excitedly go to the disciples with astounding news - "We have seen the Lord!" Like Thomas on the later occasion, they are sceptical and need to go and see for themselves. The empty tomb convinces them and they find themselves on a higher level in spiritual terms. Then Jesus meets the disciples, walking in through a bolted door. What a moment this was for these men. Thomas comes later and hears the news. He is sceptical and wants physical evidence on a one to one basis before he will believe. The moment comes and he is lifted to a height he never imagined he could attain. So too, only when their invited guest breaks bread do the travellers realise who has been talking to them as they walked along the road.

In each case where Jesus appears his is not, at first, recognised. I think the reason for this is that no one thought he could possibly rise from death and so they were blinded to the reality at first. But when the realisation strikes them they have the most wonderful spiritual experience. For Mary it was the sound of that voice that awakened her heart and mind. The voice she knew so well spoke to her and suddenly she knew that her beloved Jesus was back and back for good! The disciples experienced it twice. They were convinced by the empty tomb and then they saw Jesus for themselves. Life would never be the same and it fired them with a passion to go out and tell the world. Thomas was given the evidence he desired and that too sent him forward on a mission to tell everyone. On the way to Emmaus the travellers did not see Jesus in terms of recognition. But immediately he broke the bread they were on fire with a passionate zeal and in no time were on their way to spread the news.

Others must have been soon told this unbelievable news and shot off in their turn to tell out what they had heard. the Resurrection was the biggest item of "breaking news" imaginable. It was from this time that the authorities realised what an enemy Jesus had become to them. Their position was now in jeopardy as the news went round like wild fire. We know from the Acts of the Apostles that they were given a hard time as news came back to them of the exploits of the now fearless apostles.

The fact is that from that time there have been millions who have heard the news and reacted by following Jesus. In his day, John Wesley spoke of having his heart "strangely warmed". This is the sort of feeling we get when we suddenly accept the resurrection as a fact. I remember going to a Billy Graham Crusade at Maine Road Stadium, Manchester in 1960. That night Billy Graham was not present because he was ill. His brother in law, Leighton Ford, preached in his place. Up to that point I had accepted Jesus, but only then did my spiritual experience come!

This is something many Christians have been able to say over the centuries. They have searched and eventually found the truth but there comes that moment when the import of the news hits them. It is not only the moment of truth but the motivation for the future. I think it is also important to hang on to that motivating moment because it is all too easily to lose one's impetus when troubles strike. No matter what happens we can still look back to that remembered moment and say, but that is what tells me that Jesus is alive and is with me always. It is as if we were on the Emmaus road and said like those travelling friends, "Were not our hearts on fire as he talked with us on the road and explained the scriptures to us?"

Yes, we go back to the points when our hearts were on fire and affirm ourselves again in the faith. To do this is to be certain of moving forward in the name of Jesus who showed us the true nature of God whom we worship and adore.